So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
