You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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