THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
His nipple licking is glorious
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