How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
