so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
