my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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