yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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