my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize