Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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