What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
