He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
