There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We were destined to go to rehab together
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
