I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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