I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My bed smells like the plague
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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