Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
