So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
