I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
