it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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