I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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