I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I love you.
Bad choice
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
