We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am naked and annoyed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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