I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
