We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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