Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
