One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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