I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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