I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize