I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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