porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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