Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
