there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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