plz talk dirty to me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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