Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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