My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
