I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
