If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just pee around me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
