She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
