I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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