So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
