she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
