I got chris browned last night
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
