i always forget guys have bellybuttons
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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