just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you win again, gameday.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
