apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
