and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
