I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just invented taco cereal.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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