Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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