He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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