I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
