Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
