Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
