new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize