I'm going to jail i love you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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