sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize