handjob tips. give me some.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need water and some morals
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
