i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
