Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
